There seems to be a trend surfacing over the last decade that calls for perfection on a wedding day. The weather has to be perfect, not too hot, not too cold, with a slight breeze (but not too strong) blowing effortlessly through the hair of you and your guests. The attire has to fit perfectly, and, in objection to living your day fully and freely, remain entirely spotless. In fact, this notion that your day has to live up to some made up standard of perfection even affects how we view ourselves the day of – if we do not look a certain way, are we even worthy?

It is no surprise that this notion of perfection and being “enough” follows us throughout our lives, in and out of social media, so of course it appears leading up to the wedding day. It’s a natural response in the society we’ve been raised in, but it doesn’t have to be. Letting go of the need for perfection releases us from the notion that how we are as naturally (beautifully) imperfect humans isn’t enough. We can take back the perspective of our day through radical acceptance for what is, rather than what should be. Here are 3 ways you can implement a perspective shift to release perfection on your wedding day:

1. Build Trusted Relationships with your Vendors

The people you hire for your wedding day have your back. As long as you’ve vetted them, connected with them, and believe in their art/ability – you can rest easy knowing they have you covered on your wedding day. As a wedding photographer myself, there is nothing more important to me than making your dream day come to life in the most stress free and honoring way. Throughout the planning process, create vision boards, meet virtually or in person with each of your vendors, and voice what is important to you on the day. Building this relationship with your vendors allows for you to release control, basking in the full trust that they will take care of you.

2. Let Go of Control

Listen, I know this is not the one you want to hear, especially on one of the most important days of your life. But trust me, obsessively checking the weather app is not helping anyone. In order for you to truly be present and at peace on your wedding day, you have to release the need for control (especially of things you can’t control). I promise, the changes in weather or your timeline not running exactly the way it was planned will not take away from the true meaning of your day. You will still get married to your love – focusing on the “what ifs” can rob you of that experience. There is no material item or change in weather than can truly take that moment away from you. Release the need for control.

3. Accept Duality

Arguably the most important point here – radical self acceptance. Accepting the idea of duality on your wedding day releases the burden that perfection places on you. Many feelings can exist – nerves and excitement, anxiety and eagerness, grief and love. All these exist together in a beautiful and complex display of human experience. Your wedding day is one of the most intentional experiences you will ever have – don’t deny yourself the ability to feel it fully, even when the feelings can be uncomfortable. It’s okay to be nervous, to sit alongside grief. There is no need for performance.

When you make intentional choices leading up to your wedding, you create a flow state to washing over you, allowing whatever is meant to happen, happen. Because above all, the reason you’re there will still happen – you will get married. And that is always enough.